... Can't take the city out of the girl?

So one time... I went to Thailand for Spring Break.



Being in Bangkok has been really surreal.

It is one of the most modern and developed cities in Southeast Asia, and the closest I will get to some resemblance of life back in California while I am still on this side of the world. Perhaps even more brilliant and overwhelming than Los Angeles - all the amenities of modernity yet the pride of an ancient history and an ever present respect and love for their king.

I went to one of eight malls here and stood in front of a Starbucks with my mouth wide open. Then there was KFC, McDonald's, Pizza Hut, Dunkin' Donuts and more. Hello, globalization.

It has been strange to experience how easy it is to wash away the habits I had built in Cambodia. For seven days, I get to transport myself to a different world, very familiar to the one I knew before I came to Asia, but be confronted with certain questions. I have been wondering if the truth of my nature lies in the reflection of city life, and if so, do I embrace this identity or forsake it for a different reality? At this point, I can't answer the questions of who I am but I do know that this is how I am in one environment (city) and then, I know how I am in another place (small rural town). Is it okay to adapt your habits to whatever environment you're in? Or, should you be consistent no matter where you are? Maybe the bigger question to ask is whether my personality - the core of who I am - the same? But is that core reflected in the values of my habits? How I choose to exert energy, how I spend my money, even what time I go to bed and rise in the morning?

I'm scared to say that maybe, just maybe, I really don't know who I am... yet. One of the things I've been learning a lot on GLT, from my experiences and from my friends (here and at home), is that I put a lot of pressure on myself. Maybe in allowing for this realization to have some validity, I may have to actually let go of this weight I've been holding on to. Maybe it's okay to not have yourself figured out at 21-years old? Typing this now seems simple enough, right?