An apology to the world.

This current season in my life can summarized into these words: compartmentalization, papers, stress, compromise.

On my way to the Central Library today, I noticed an usually strange presence of cops and the blocking of certain streets. Then I realized that there must be a protest going on. Lo and behold, masses were gathering in front of the L.A. City Hall, holding signs of protest against Prop 8. Oh and how I wanted to be with them! Apparently, today is National Protest Day. And also America Recycles Day. I love recycling!

But I'm sorry world, I wish I had the time (or knew how to make the time) to care about you right now. I can only exist in a few places and anything more than that seems to requires too much physical and emotional energy. Everything else has to be compartmentalized. Since I'm at the computer so often, I spend more time with my internet friends than I do with real-life ones. This reality has been disappointing too and I think I'm becoming socially inept.

I was supposed to have a phone conference with my professor today but when I called him, he had written down that we were talking tomorrow. I had built up all this anxiety because I really need to tell him about where I'm at with my papers and want to propose a research paper idea to him (in light of the fact that I did absolutely no formal research while I was in Cam). I have been really afraid to talking to him these few months but I know it's time to be honest and ask him to work with me. I'm totally nervous but is remembering that neither my self-worth is defined by these circumstances nor will the world end if I don't receive stellar grades. Everything will still be okay at the end of the day.

Pigeons are freaking me out! I have to go back inside now.