Today's things.

Today was a hard day for me. I woke up with the intention of setting out for my Long Beach excursion. I woke up tired but ready, and then tuned into the daily weather report and found out there was to be rain all day. The idea of being stuck in the rain on my Metro-dependent day was not appealing to me at all. So, after 30 minutes of intense guilt, I decided to stay in and work. I ended up going back to sleep for 3 hours! Even after that, I spent hours putting work off because I was terrified of the tasks ahead of me and stressed over my lack of confidence in myself.

But I had one obligation today and that was a phone interview. And the conversation completely ignited all my passions again! You don't even understand, but I seriously love Cambodia. I love this country. I love its language. I love its brokenness, history and I love the hope of its future.

Single most favorite photo taken in Pursat.

Tonight I had a long talk with someone, 22 years-old just like me, born in a refugee camp on the Thai border of Cam. He is now a prominent young leader in his community, anxious to see his country for the first time next year, and completely dedicated to making a difference for the Cambodians in Long Beach.

Of course it is inspiring. But I think what really gets to me is that I had no idea about this until it dawned on me to do my research paper on the Khmer community in LB. Just like 2 and a half years ago, I didn't even know about the existence of Cambodia. But as time continues, God has led me deeper and deeper. Being in Cam started something in me that has now continued. I had never seen my future anywhere before. I knew what it should involve - social justice, community, love, education - but I never saw a place and certainly not a language or a group of people. The war and genocide changed Cambodia forever. And it changed me forever because it all started when I read a book about a little girl's experience during that time. Her book changed me because it made me feel things and question things that I hadn't before.

I think it is obvious to say Cambodia can be replaced with any number of other war-torn countries. But once you learn about one something in particular and it causes you to feel the deepest sense of compassion, frustration and urgency to get involved, you have to respond. I love people who are doing what they care most about. Once it starts, it becomes more and more personal. This is what Cambodia has become for me. There were lots of parts of my GLT that I didn't like. There are parts of the traditions and customs that I don't agree with. But I see myself staying active in my involvement, one way or another.

Now, as long as I can get through this semester!!!